alyse's writing blog: August 2015

Alright. This post is not going to be very allegorical or glamorous because, frankly, I don't have time. Which is really unfortunate because I had this great little sketch going about motherhood and my screaming baby in a car seat and it was going to end with a bunch of goldfish crackers somehow falling down my shirt because, for some reason, my most genuine attempts at being a good mom end up with goldfish crackers getting chucked at my head and then inevitably falling down my shirt and it usually happens in a public place where I can't do anything about it.

So if you want to read that story go ahead an hop into another dimension where I'm a mom but I somehow have time to write intricate allegorical stories about my child that make you laugh, cry, and stare off deep into sweet nostalgic contemplation. And then bring me back a virgin margarita.

But if you're staying in this dimension, today I'm going to quickly write what the past year has been like raising my little one-year-old boy.

Two words: Pure joy.

I'm serious! I'm being completely serious. Ok, yes, there's been the occasional goldfish down my shirt, and there's been a few bath times that have ended with baby poops floating around with rubber ducky, and goopy green vegetable guts have basically coated my kitchen floor all year long due to epic "eat your peas!" battles. Yes, all of this is true. But, seriously, this year has been incredible. Why?!

This is the year my baby boy learned how to sing. Sing! I can't even tell you how jaw-droppingly extraordinary it was the first time I heard him hum along to Taylor Swift's "Shake it Off." I pulled down the rear view mirror and stared in awe at my baby when I should have been watching the road, but I couldn't help it! There he was - matching pitch and tapping his little hands up and down to the beat. And after a few months the humming transformed into full blown singing once he figured out how to mimic a lyric here and there. I'll tell you what. The boy's got pipes. Soul pipes.

And he doesn't just sing anything. In fact, he doesn't just listen to anything. He has very particular taste in music. For instance, he hates, HATES, anything that debuted before 2005. Don't ask me how a one-year-old can tell when a song came out, but I'm telling you, anything before 2005 with very few exceptions. We've had many a conversation like this:

"Abram. This is Tom Petty's "Free Fallin'" It's a classic! You have to like-"

"WAAAAA!"

"Ok, ok, ok, ok! I'll change it. I'll change it. Geesh."

~~~~~

"Abram. How can you like Taylor Swift and not like Christina Aguilera's "What a Girl Wants"?! Christina is ten times-"

"WAAAAAA!"

"Ok, ok, ok, ok! I'll change it. I'll change it. Geesh."

~~~~~

"Abram. The members of this family appreciate Billy Joel's contribution to the musical communit-"

"WAAAAAAA!!!"

"Ok, ok, ok, ok! I'll change it. I'll change it. Geesh."

But on the flip side, there is a lot of music that he loves. Taylor Swift is always a win. The other day T Swift's "Blank Space" was playing over the grocery store loudspeakers and a random lady busted up laughing when Abram joined Taylor and polished off her "And you love the game!" phrase with a very heartfelt and perfectly-timed "GAME!" In fact, Abram has been in a pop music phase for most of his life. Bruno Mars, some of Kelly Clarkson, Ariana Grande, Philip Philips, Justin Timberlake, Lorde, David Guetta. All of these are winners. And anything heavily synthesized and techno-esque usually captures his attention.

He does NOT like Katy Perry or Owl City for some reason. Owl city? Come on! And right now he's on a Skrillex kick. Skrillex?! I'm just as amazed as you. They're a little too intense for me, but the kid has a complete melt down, MELT DOWN, when Skrillex songs end. He just wants their music to go on and on and on. He's music critic, that fo sho. And despite the 2005 music blockade, I have been able to encourage some humming along to a little classical, namely Bizet's Carmen Suite 1. So that's a start.

Abram loves all these musicians and their billboard chart songs with varying degrees of enthusiasm, but my son's favorite song, by a long shot, is Coldplay's "Sky Full of Stars." It came out right around the time he turned one-year-old and it's been playing in our house ever since.

He asks for "Sky" every time he gets into the car, we play it at least twice on every family drive, and I've been singing it to him as a lullaby almost every night for the past year. He knows all the words and he sings them with more spirit than Chris Martin himself. If you want to make a friend, start singing "Sky" to my baby and he'll soon start singing along.

Lot's of other great things took place this year as I watched my son grow up, but all the events seem to fall under the philosophical idea of hearing my baby sing for the first time. He started communicating in new, exciting ways this year. Through song and speech and more involved facial expressions, more hugs and kisses and more signs of affection, and yes, through a more diverse palette of tears and wails. It's been a year of learning more about this little person. He's not just a squishy, cute, cuddly doll, but a thinking, feeling human being with a very complicated little mind and personality. He's always been like this from the day he was born, but I got to know him a lot better this year.

And he's getting to know us better too! I'm not just "Hey, person with the food and toys, get over here." I'm now "Mama!" Well, actually I'm also "Leeeece!" If Abram needs or wants something from us he yells our first names. "JAAANN! Leece!" I think he's copying us when John and I call to each other. Haha. But if he's showing affection or excitement to see us he coos, "Mama!" or "Dada!"

We've also had some great conversations this last year with our little boy. For instance during a nighttime car conversation between John and I we suddenly heard:

"Thank you Dada!....Thank you Dada! Thank you Dada! Thank you Dada! Thank you Dada! Thank you Dada!"

Short pause.

John: "Um...you're welcome Abram." (We're still not sure why he was thanking John, but whatevs)

Alyse cuts in: "So Abe, do you like t-"

Abram: "LEEEECE!" (Shouted in the best unintentional Ricky-Ricardo-calling/scolding-Lucy impression I've heard in a long time).

Alyse: "Uh...yes?"

Abram: "The moooooooon! The mooooooon! It's the MOOOOOOOON!!!" (Pointing outside to a lovely full moon).

During another car conversation on our way home in the car, John and I were talking softly thinking Abe would be drifting off soon when we suddenly hear:

"FIRE! A fire!"

Alyse: "Abe? Where's the fire, dude?" Looking around a little unnerved by his fervent announcement."

Silence. John and I eventually started talking again.

"FIRE!!!" It's a fire! Fire. Fire. Fire. Fire. Fire. Fire. FIRE!!"

John: "Whoa. Abram. Where's the fire?"

Abram: "It's a fire!"

Not sure, but I think this conversation had something to do with Abe previously learning the word "fire" from the fireplace picture in Good Night, Moon and seeing the bright street lamps. But let's be honest, we'll never know what the heck that fire warning was all about.

Some other amazing milestones:

Abram learned how to walk at 14 months, and learned how to run at 14 months and a day. He's been running ever since.
He learned how to jump and the boy's got hops.
He learned how to pray, which is quite a miracle because John and I sure didn't teach him. I mean, prayer happens in our house, but we didn't make any conscious effort to teach our one-year-old about it, but somehow he figured it out! Either Moses came down and taught our son how to pray or he learned it from his teachers at the Baptist daycare he attended at the time. The most likely assumption is the Baptist daycare, but I'm still holding out for the Moses theory because, really, you should see Abe pray. We first noticed it one night when we bowed our heads and John started praying and we looked over at Abram and there he was with his eyes closed, head bowed, and little hands pressed together in a perfect prayer pose. His sweet, sincere reverence was too much cute for us to handle and we, of course, busted up into suppressed giggles that we quelled through the rest of the prayer. Afterwards John said, "Well, we're a very religiously diverse family. You're an atheist, I'm a mormon, and I guess Abram's a baptist."
First tantrum. I thought I had seen tantrums before, but no. About 4 weeks before his 2nd birthday Abram did something I'd never seen him do before. He threw himself to the floor and started kicking his feet uncontrollably because why? I suggested he wear pants. Call child protective services everyone because that's what the blood curdling screams coming from my house are about. So this next year is going to be interesting. But I love the fact that he can say "no!" I want him to find more appropriate ways to express himself, but I never want him to be afraid of telling people his is not pleased with what is happening.

I can't finish this post without talking about cars. And trucks. And buses. My boy LOVES vehicles. We have spent countless hours this year sitting on the front porch watching the cars as they drive by.

"Whoa! Truck! Did you see it? Did you see it?"

"Hello truck!"

"Hello car!"

He plays with cars in the morning, he plays with cars in the afternoon, he plays with cars at night. He tucks his cars into their "bed" (shelf) right before sleepy time. It's just the cutest thing ever.

So that's all. I could keep writing and writing about this boy, but I've got to get back to daily life stuff.

Abram, when you read this, I want you to know that I love you sooooooo much! I love being your mom! This year has been something special, that's for sure. Happy 2-year-old birthday!!! I can't wait to see what this next year brings!!!

And now for the picture overload:

One-Year-Old Pictures

Watching Hot Air Balloon's with Mommy

Playing with Daddy

First Professional Haircut that ended in a buzz...

Halloween 2014

November 2014

Christmas 2014

He really likes strawberries

Camping pics. 2015 Packer Family Camping trip on the left. And that very flattering picture of us on the right is the 2015 Johnson Family Camping trip.