alyse's writing blog: 2016

Complied by Michelle and Justin Smith, 2016

Contributor: Hans Pew

Relationship to Nancy: Cousin of Keith

I first met Nancy when we were both part of a group going to some sort of Young Adult activity - I forget the details. I believe she had just turned 18, and this was her first YA activity. We were trying to fit about 10 people into a car that could probably hold four comfortably. That's how I ended up with Nancy sitting on my lap moments after I first met her.

I believe that Keith was also in the car that night. In fact, it's possible that it was also the first time they met, but I'm not sure about that. I'm sure they hadn't met much before that, though, because it didn't take long at all for them to become an item. I suspect that by the next week if we'd done the same thing Nancy would have been on Keith's lap instead of mine.

Contributor: Summer Lydon

Relationship to Nancy: Niece

When I was about 7 or 8 my family went to Idaho to visit Aunt Nancy and Uncle Keith. It was summer time so it was warm enough to sleep on the tramp. It was probably 2 or 3 am before Kirsten, Alyse, Miranda, and I actually started settling into our sleeping bags for the night. At the crack of dawn Nancy came out and started jumping on the tramp screaming 'wake up sunshine's! It's time for morning exercises.' We were all so tired it was not funny! The way she looked, tho, jumping on the tramp was SUPER funny, and something I will never forget. I remember thinking 'She is crazy! but the coolest aunt ever!!'

Contributor: Alison Yardley

Relationship to Nancy: Niece

My very favorite memory of Aunt Nancy is from when I was really little. I think I was 5 or 6 and she came over to my parent's house to visit. I told her all about how one of my other aunts had a special nail polish that made your nails dry more quickly after painting them. Aunt Nancy said that she wasn't nearly that fancy and asked if I wanted to see how she dried her nail polish. I of course said yes, and she then started spinning in circles and waving her hands around in an attempt to "dry her nail polish." When she finished she said, "they might not dry as fast, but it's a lot more fun!"

I adored Aunt Nancy. She taught me all about the importance of the little things and having fun! My time with her was short, but I will never forget her. Love you Aunt Nancy. Happy 50th!

Contributor: Julie Borg

Relationship to Nancy: Dear Friend

Nancy was one of my dearest friends. I can honestly say I have felt her loss and thought about her every day since the day she died. I loved her very much. She has impacted my life in a very positive way and I am a different person because I knew her.

I knew her for about 5 years. I met her when we she was pregnant with Andre and I was pregnant with my son Davis. We were in the same ward and lived in the same neighborhood. We instantly bonded and became good friends. I walked with her in the evenings quite often and we would discuss everything from kids to books to art to rude people. I loved those walks.

I have a lot of 'Nancyisms' in my life. The one that helped me the most to cope with her death was something she said when her dad died. She said "grief is like carrying bricks around in a backpack. You never get rid of them, you always carry that backpack. But you get stronger and it gets easier to carry."

Some other Nancyisms:
"Life is too short for paintings without people in them."

"Never trust people who are judgemental."

"I'm sorry about the apple core under the couch, but hey, that's just who we are."

"I want to paint a mural of angels in the kids playroom, and the angel's faces would be my children." - Did she ever paint that mural? I can't remember.

"The title 'The Angony and the Ecstacy' describes the way I feel most of the time."

"Sometimes it hurts to hear people complain that they miss their parents when they are on missions or whatever. Their parents get to come home. They should celebrate every day that they are alive, whether they or here or far away."

One thing I wanted to share that I remember well is how much Nancy loved her baby Caleb. She was so in love with him! She would stare at him a lot. One time she asked me to go 'rock shopping' with her. She wanted to build a fountain in her yard. We were in the middle of a rock yard where you could drive your car right in and you were surrounded by the rocks. She wouldn't leave Caleb in the car while we looked, not even if I was in the car with him! She insisted on carrying him in his carrier as she looked at all the rocks. She never wanted to leave his side. I noticed this several times in the short time she was with him. She was constantly looking at him.

Everything I did with her was an adventure. Furniture shopping, trips to the used bookstore, rock shopping, going out to dinner together, hearing her read something she wrote ('The Blue Velvet Couch' is my favorite). I remember when she wrote her own obituary. She read it to me over the phone. She was in a hurry to read it because I think she had a class to get to. I remember thinking how funny it was that she read it so fast, the story of her death. It seemed kind of ironic at the time. Her love of music, her love of writing and her love of reading and her love of life in general. One time I cleaned her wedding ring for her, and while she sat there watching me she talked about where the sand that was embedded in it came from, which was from a trip her and Keith took somewhere, probably the beach. She turned much of everyday life into an incredibly told story. Life was just so rich when I was with her.

I love Nancy and I am so glad I knew her. My life changed after she died. It has left a sad place in my heart and I am so excited to see her again some day and talk about all the things we never got to discuss. I think about her when big things happen. When 9/11 happened I wondered about the fact that she was probably right there, helping those people find their way to heaven. I think about her when there is a passing away and calling of new prophets. I think about her with books I have read. I wonder how she would have felt about Kindle. I wonder if she would have been a good texter. Can you imagine the funny conversations she would have had over texting and Facebook? Having her first grandchild, watching her children graduate. I think about her all the time and imagine conversations we would have about these things.

I could go on for pages about my memories with her, but I will just say that I second what I'm sure everybody else says about her. She was a magnificent person. I loved her so much. My life changed the day I met her. I pray for her children often.

Thanks for letting me share some of my sacred memories of a wonderful person and friend.

Contributor: Sara Smith

Relationship to Nancy: Older Sister

When Nancy was in her senior year of High School and I was in college we choreographed a dance to "The Pink Panther". It was in our split level house and she would go up the stairs and I would go down then we would fly back into the middle like it was a mirror. It was a fun dance that nobody but us ever saw.

Some people may not know this but I went out with Keith before Nancy. I enjoyed my time with him, but that's all it was. Nancy started dating him and they were just on the verge of getting serious when there was a letter in Dear Abby or Ann Lander column about someone complaining about her friend dating her boyfriend named Keith. The heading of the article was "Keep your hands off Keith". So Nancy put a 'threatening note' on my bedroom door with the article attached. I had seen the article and I almost cut it out and put it on her bedroom door. We had a good laugh over that one.

After Keith and Nancy were married she babysat her niece Carol Weaver. When Carol needed her diaper changed Nancy would use yellow rubber gloves to change it. After Alyse was born I think she used the gloves a few times but realized it wasn't practical.

When we were in college we used to go dancing. We would get together a group of 7 to 10 people and we would crash BYU dances wherever we could get in. The group seemed to change, but it usually contained cousins or siblings. We would do some couple's dances but mostly we would go in the middle of the dance floor and dance as a group. We used to get lots of interesting looks. I'm surprised we didn't get thrown out. Favorite songs were "I wear my sunglasses at night", "Whip It", and "Twist and Shout". Favorite dance was straight jumping up and down, Richards famous "Cockroach", and the Swing.

Contributor: Erick and Liz Pew

Relationship to Nancy: Cousin to Keith

Liz:

My memories of Nancy really started when she and Keith moved to Boise. I didn't really know her very well before that. We didn't have any other family in Boise so it was really fun to have them move here. One of my favorite memories of Nancy is her singing in our group. She had a great voice and we often gave the alto solos to her because she had the right attitude for the song and of course a lot of personality.

I always enjoyed the fact that Nancy was always so interested in everybody that she met including me. She would remember something about you and ask about how that was going and then she always wanted to engage you in a conversation about politics or just something in general she'd been reading about and so it was always fun talking to her. She enjoyed variety in life and I know she enjoyed reading and writing and learning about new places and I know she was really jealous when Keith and Erick got to go to Italy together for work and she didn't get to go. One of The things on her bucket list was to make it to Florence, Italy and other places in Italy to see the wonderful art and everything else of course. She loved being a mom and she loved the gospel. One of my favorite experiences that Nancy and I shared was that our daughters really wanted to see the new Star Wars #1 movie that was coming out ( not #4-6) and so we decided that we would go put a tent up in the parking lot at Edwards theaters and camp out with our daughters overnight to get tickets the day they started selling. There were parties and people dressed up and stuff going on all night long and so I don't think that we really slept much and we had a lot of fun. I took the first half of the night and stayed till about two in the morning and then she came and stayed the second half of the night with the girls and I went home and slept the second half of the night. As we did the change of guard we of course stayed and chatted a little bit together and played with the girls so it was a fun night. I know that it will be a memory that our daughters will hopefully remember and mostly just because she was as crazy as I was to camp out when the men didn't want to do it.

Not long before Nancy passed away, Nancy and I had a conversation over the phone (because she had already moved to Texas) about whether or not we should make some changes in our family and sell the house we were living in and perhaps find a house with a smaller yard to take care of, maybe find a ward with youth Anna’s age in it and so Erick could be closer to work. We had a long conversation and she gave me some advice and I just remember her last words to me were something to the effect of: "I just have a feeling that good things are coming and that changes are going to be made and it will all be for the best and I know that you will listen to the spirit and everything will work out". For some reason that meant so much to me because she had taken the time out of her busy day to chat with me and make sure I was doing OK and she left me feeling uplifted and encouraged to pursue our course of action. That was the last time I talked to her. But Nancy really didn't leave. She's always been there in spirit and her personality and her love of life is evident in her children as well and someday we will be with her again.

Erick:

The one story I would add to what Liz said about Nancy is this one. One day I called Keith and Nancy’s house. I don’t remember whether I was calling to talk to Keith or Nancy, but Nancy was the one who answered the phone. As soon as she picked up the phone she said, “Talk to me babe!” I was taken aback and took a second before telling her who was calling and what for. I was never quite sure if she was expecting a call from Keith for some reason, or if that’s how she answered the phone when some random stranger was calling.

Contributor: Laurel Johnson Miller

Relationship to Nancy: Sister-in-law

One Easter our family went to Boise to visit Keith and Nancy. After the kids were all sleep the grown-ups stayed up late talking. Nancy told me she had good news to share. She said she was 3 months pregnant. I was delighted and congratulated Keith and Nancy. We spent a good hour talking about pregnancy and whether it would be a boy or girl etc. In the morning Alyse came in to the family room where I had been sleeping. I said, “Alyse, are you excited for the new baby?” She gave me a funny look, so I told her that her mom told me she was pregnant last night. Alyse got a cheesy grin and said, “Was it after midnight?” I said, “Yes, why?” Then suddenly realized that I had been sucked in good. It was April 1^st. Apparently Alyse, even at that young age knew her mom well. When Nancy came in I told her I figured out her trick. She really wasn’t pregnant. Nancy and I had a good laugh.

A few years later we were getting extended family pictures taken. While we were trying to get everyone looking at the camera and smiling people were saying, “Say cheese” etc. Nancy said, “Everybody say, I’m pregnant!” We laughed and nobody gave it a second thought later we learned that she really was announced she was pregnant.

Contributor: Holly Miller Hunter

Relationship to Nancy: Niece

During the holidays Keith and Nancy’s family came down to visit Utah. She took Kirsten, Alyse, Janna and I to Provo Town Center Mall to have a girls day. She took us to some of the fancy dress shops and pretended we were looking for flower girl dresses so we could try on fancy dresses and look like princesses. Looking back I am amazed that she would choose spending the day with 8 years olds and 11 year olds running around the mall. She made me feel so special and included. I love her and if I can be half the woman she is then I would be lucky.

Contributor: Miranda Johnson Carmichael

Relationship to Nancy: Niece

One of Nancy’s LEAST favorite songs is “Back at One” by Brian McKnight. We would make up different lyrics to make fun of the song. Unfortunately, the only line I can remember is “5 make you fall out of a tree!” SO funny! Love her and her fun personality! Every time this comes on, Nancy is the ONLY thing that comes to my mind!

Contributor: Adrienne Miller Henderson
Relationship to Nancy: Niece

When Nancy came to visit us in NY, she was always coming up with creative ways to entertain us kids. One night she pulled out a bag of pretzel sticks. We spend the rest of the night designing pictures out of the pretzels all over our kitchen counter.

Contributor: Lindy Johnson

Relationship to Nancy: Niece-in-law

I unfortunately never had the privilege of knowing Nancy. But I have been blessed to be a part of the family that has been created in her absence. I have so many fond memories with all of her children. Each one of them I truly feel as if they are my own siblings. I think if Nancy could be here today she would be overwhelmed with pride to see the people her children have grown up to be! I miss that I never knew her, I know she would have been one of my favorite people!

Contributor: Mark Moody

Relationship to Nancy: Son-in-law

[Memory about Andre] There was a discussion about doing a play. I can’t remember who suggested “We should do a family play”. Andre immediately shouted, “I GET TO PLAY CALEB!”

Contributor: Jill Osborn

Relationship to Nancy: Niece

I met Nancy when I was 10 months old at her wedding. She always made me laugh. I loved when she taught us how to play “Super Scum”. I was always really intrigued by Nancy. She has had a great influence on me in way I didn’t even realize until I was an adult. Her love for learning and example of attending so many college classes is one of the things that had the most influence on me and inspired me to seek a college education. Even though I was a child and teen while I knew Nancy, she always treated me with the same respect as she did other adults. I loved that she would talk to me about grown up topics from shaving legs, to things she was writing about her ancestors or short stories about running to the store to buy a last minute box of condoms. Her ability to show such sincere interest in other people was amazing. I think I miss all the intellectual topics and conversations I would have had with her as an adult the most. How I wish I could sit and converse with her about so many things. Even after 16 years I still think about Nancy and Keith and the huge influence they have had on me.

Contributor: Michelle Johnson Smith

Relationship to Nancy: Niece and sibling to Nancy’s kids

Honestly, I don’t have very many specific memories of Nancy. I definitely remember her smile and her laugh, and that she made you love to be around her. I remember when she and Keith went to look for homes in Texas right before she moved back and Andre stayed with us. I remember that she was so sweet with him and that she loved him.

I think my most profound memory of Nancy is really a reaction I had to an experience that Kevin had. I think it was during the same trip that she was dropping off Andre to stay with us. Kevin must have been 15 or so, but she sat down with him and talked for a while about computer stuff with him. She took time to listen to him talk about "nerdy" stuff that maybe she didn't know much about, but she engaged in this conversation with Kevin and made him feel important, and made his interests feel important as well. I remember Kevin telling my mom about the conversation later and expressing how good it felt that she would take the time to actually TALK with him and be interested in his computer hobby rather than just be polite enough to listen to him tell her about it. And that it was cool that she could have an intelligent conversation about it, even though she wasn't a computer expert.

Over the years that always stuck with me. Throughout Jr High and High School as I'd try to think about what I should do when I "grow up" I was never sure. But I always kept coming back to the idea that I wanted to be able to have an intelligent conversation with anyone about anything. It ended up being one of the underlying reasons that I didn't continue to pursue piano in college. I felt like I needed to diversify my experience and my studies in order to really be able converse about a variety of topics.

The other element to Kevin and Nancy's conversation that makes Nancy is awesome is that she was able to make him feel like she was interested in him. This is something that I am striving to be more like. I admire her ability to connect with people in this way.

Contributor: Annette Cleveland

Relationship to Nancy: Cousin-in-law

I remember Nancy as a sweet, happy, funny, and caring person. She had so many unique qualities and talents! One thing I remember about Nancy is that she liked to collect hats. She had a really fun collection. When my sister and I graduated from high school in 1986, our mom made us each a beautiful white dress. The two patterns we chose were somewhat “old fashioned” in style. We thought it would be fun to get our pictures taken in the dresses together, in black and white, so that the photo would look like an old photograph. For the picture, we wanted hats to go with the dresses. We asked Nancy if we could look over her hat collection and she was happy to let us do that, and to let us borrow any hats that we might choose. I thought that it was very generous of her to share her precious hats with us!

We did find two hats that we took with us to get the photograph taken. One hat had blue trim and the other one had pink ribbon on it, but since the photo is black and white, they blend in perfectly. I’ve attached the picture if you’d like to see it.

I wish I could have spent more time with Nancy. She was one of my favorite people to be around!

Contributor: Sherri Wiltbank

Relationship to Nancy: Sister-in-law

The main thing I remember and love about Nancy is that I, like so many others, felt like when I was with her, I was her best friend. She had a way of making you feel like you were the most special person in the world and that she absolutely loved you. She knew how to ask just the right questions and no matter the question, you were totally comfortable answering it. She offered insights that you had never considered but were just what you needed. These conversations usually lasted very LATE into the night!

I remember for the Wiltbank Reunion in December of 1998, our car broke down and we were not going to be able to go. Nancy and Keith borrowed his sister Laurel's 15 passenger van so we could all drive down to Arizona together (even if it meant we had to stop every few hours to add more oil to the engine :). We were so grateful for their kindness. Nancy just saw this as a great adventure and opportunity to start the reunion a little early. We left about 5 a.m. and as a mom with two young children, I eagerly looked forward to going back to sleep since I wasn't in the driver's seat. But Nancy wasn't about to let that happen. She came back to the row I was sitting on, plopped down right next to me and started chatting and got me chatting until the thoughts of sleep flew out the window. Initially, I really wanted to sleep but I am so grateful that she didn't let that opportunity pass us by. She knew life was meant to be lived to the fullest and she was going to not only do that herself, but encourage all those around her to do that as well.

I learned so many things from Nancy - to have a zest for life, READ!, love people, family is important, laugh, music is awesome, etc. etc. But the lesson I think I will remember the most is one she taught me about forgiveness. I was having a really hard time forgiving someone. She listened to me for over an hour and then shared a very personal experience she had had forgiving someone very close to her. She taught me about the freeing power of the Atonement and its absolute ability to bring peace and complete forgiveness. Upon returning home that evening, I put her advice to the test -- and it worked. I felt a peace in a way that I had never felt before. This was a very foundational experience for me and I am so grateful to Nancy for taking that time to teach me.

I cannot wait to see Nancy again and I hope there will be time for another late night chat.

Contributor: Kirsten Moody

Relationship to Nancy: Daughter

I have too many memories to count. I remember one from when I was very young. I sometimes didn’t wash my hands when I went to the bathroom (gross, I know). Anyway, when my poor mother asked me why and tried to get me to start washing my hands every time, she asked me why I didn’t wash my hands. I told her it was because I was afraid of the sound the toilet made when it flushed. So, once I flushed the toilet, I would run out of the bathroom. My mom suggested that I wash my hands first and then I could flush the toilet. Then, I could still flush and run out the door. I remember thinking it was a silly, childish thing, but my mom took the time to help me think of a solution. She didn’t patronize me for having a silly problem. She recognized that for me it was a problem and she helped me. That was the first of many similar experiences.

She always made me feel important no matter how big or small my problems were.

Contributor: Shellie Espinoza

Relationship to Nancy: Cousin by Marriage

Memory: too many to write and not enough at all! We’re gonna roll!

One memory I had with Nancy is I was riding down to Arizona for Thanksgiving with Keith,

Nancy, Alyse and Kirsten was on her way-Nancy was great with child. We were somewhere in the middle of nowhere Utah in a snow storm and as we came around a bend in the freeway we could see up ahead a pileup of cars and people milling about. Keith was driving, Nancy was in the passenger seat, I was behind Nancy and Alyse was in her car seat next to me. Keith tried to slow down but the road was really icy. As we approached, Nancy started a running dialog of what was going to happen. “We’re going to hit that guy!” Keith veers to the right1 “We’re going to hit the mile marker” Keith manages to go between two of them, slalom style. “We’re going to go in the ditch!!!” We do indeed start sliding towards the ditch! “We’re gonna ROOOOLLLLL!”

But, we didn’t. we just sort of slid diagonally to the bottom and the momentum shot us up, out of the ditch, and onto the other side. We slid to a stop. “WHEW!” We didn’t roll!” Then Keith says-

“How are we going to get back?” He looks around and says, “Hey! We’re on an onramp!” So we drove up ahead of the whole pileup to the entrance, where we were directed by Highway Patrol back to the nearest podunk town as they had closed the highway. Nancy always was a good narrator. And this was just a few minutes of the many, many adventures we had together.

Nothing was ever quite ordinary if Nancy was in the mix, and I felt right at home with that.

Happy 50th Nancy!!!!

Contributor: Timo Mostert

Relationship to Nancy: Cousin

Memory: When I came out with my brother Mika to go in the MTC, we stayed at the Wiltbank’s

house and went bowling with Nancy. She was still in high school at the time. Fun times.

Contributor: Daniel Miller

Relationship to Nancy: Nephew

Memory:

When Keith and Nancy lived in Boise, our family drove up to visit them. I remember being really excited to see them. We missed them really bad after they moved. Once we got there, I’m sure we were our usual selves meaning that the situation was more than likely quite chaotic with constant fighting, some of which I’m probably guilty of instigating. I remember a fight breaking out and I felt like my parents getting after me for starting it, but I hadn’t. This time it honestly wasn’t me. In this instance though, justice was sacrificed for something that resulting in peace and quiet faster. I remember Nancy being my only advocate. She didn’t fight or question my parents’ parenting. She had an errand to run and she offered to take me along with her so I could have some one-on-one time. It meant so much to me. I remember her talking to me the whole drive and at the store just like I was her long-time friend. Unfortunately, I don’t have many more details to this memory. I left on my mission a week after the accident. I missed the funeral because I was in the MTC. It was easier for me, albeit cowardly, to pretend that Keith and Nancy were and still are just in Texas. I have never really had closure about the accident.

The truth is that I am resentful that some live while others are robbed of that privilege. I really wish I could have had an adult relationship with Keith and Nancy. I miss them both terribly.

Contributor: Richard Wiltbank

Relationship to Nancy: Brother and sometimes antagonist

Memory:

One of my most interesting memories of Nancy is when I was in 6th or 7th grade. I was talking to a friend on the school bus and he said something about Nancy being so shy. I said “Nancy who?” I couldn’t for the life of me think who he could be talking about, since the only Nancy I knew was most definitely NOT shy, quiet or reserved! I guess she came across a bit differently to the rest of the world, at least when she was that age.

Another wonderful memory I have of Nancy is how she was such a great friend, especially to those who may not have had many friends. On our school bus route, we had one family that were very poor, lived in a very small, run-down house. These kids wore dirty clothes and were usually unbathed and unruly. But, there was one girl, Maxina, who was Nancy’s age. Nancy would sit next to Maxina on the bus and talk to her during the whole bus ride. One day, after

Maxina and her siblings had gotten off the bus, I said something that was unkind about them.

Nancy looked at me in surprise and disappointment and said, “Why would you say that about my friend?” She was loyal to her friend at all times.

One more: for Christmas Eve, our family always had 2 plays that we would put on: the traditional Christmas story and a secular, Santa Claus story. For as long as I can remember,

Nancy would write, direct, make costumes and star in the secular play. We had some wonderful times practicing those plays as Nancy would rewrite her story over and over and over. We were often not sure exactly what we were going to end up with until we were on “stage” Christmas

Eve.

Contributor: Orval and Vonda Skousen

Relationship to Nancy: Surrogate Grandparents to Nancy’s children (Marcia Johnson’s parents)

I loved watching Nancy and baby Allyse on their front porch visiting with Marcia, Catherine and Kevin. They were often there in the afternoon under the shade of the huge sycamore tree in the front yard.

Then just before moving to Texas, all the Lee Johnson family came by for family pictures. Nancy was always interesting and fun to visit with. She was positive, happy and busy with plans and ideas. She was a very caring and loving mother.

Contributor: Lane Johnson

Relationship to Nancy: Brother-in-Law and surrogate father to Nancy’s children

Nancy may be the only person in the world (besides my wife) that has ever sat down with me and listened to me blab (for probably at least 10 minutes or more) about how amazingly cool the Prokofiev Symphony #5 is (one of my all-time favorites). That was a lot of parentheticals! And not only did she listen to me blab, she was truly interested in what I was saying and how excited I was about it. Then, she sat for many minutes more and listened to the symphony with me. She had a rare talent of really be interested in people and their lives, what mattered to them. That experience has always meant a lot to me and has helped me on many occasions to remember to do the same with others (even though I’m not nearly as good at it J).

Contributor: E. Lee Johnson

Relationship to Nancy: Father-in-law

In 1997, Dianne and I had the privilege of going on the re-enactment of the Pioneer trek across the plains. We rode in a wagon pulled by horses part of the time, and part of the time, and part of the time some of us walked beside the wagon. We had a beautiful time seeing the country that the Pioneers passed through and enjoying each-others company. Nancy was really great company on that trip, and we had a great opportunity to find out just how talented and interesting she was. We came to realize just how fortunate our son, Keith, was to have her for a wife. The children they left behind have helped us to remember her by exhibiting many of traits and talents.

Contributor: Lisa Wiltbank

Relationship to Nancy: Niece

We did not live near Nancy over the years, so my favorite memories of Aunt Nancy from family reunions, when she lit up the stage!!

Contributor: Milo Wiltbank

Relationship to Nancy: Older brother

She laughed. Wow, Nancy could laugh. Who knew what she was laughing about but her laugh was infectious.

When she spoke, her words could never catch up with her mind. She spoke with enthusiasm, passion, and excitement because she had a lot of living to do in an inadequate time.

When Nancy was born, I was nine years old. We lived in New Jersey. She grew up in a hectic house full of older kids. She seemed to enjoy the hectic atmosphere and as soon as possible she joined right in.

I remember visiting Nancy and Keith at their apartment in Texas when he was doing his Master’s degree at Texas A&M. All the kids were there with fun and excitement in heaps. All of us watched “Jaws”, apparently one of Keith’s favorite movies. I was attending a scientific meeting called Society for the Study of Reproduction (SSR), a meeting of about 1,000 scientists that study reproduction. We went on a double date to the SSR dance that was at the Texas Hall of Fame. We ate, we danced, we drank, virgin drinks- much to the chagrin of the bartender. We kept dancing during the night, as the line dancing started. Nancy and Keith were the most photogenic of the dancers. Their picture, kicking up their heels, ended up on the front page of the newsletter.

Contributor: Anna (pew) Harrison

Relationship to Nancy: 1st Cousin Once Removed

I’ve been thinking for weeks about what to write but every time I pictured a memory of Nancy it didn’t seem like enough. Growing up in Idaho provided me with countless times with her and the family. A few Thanksgivings, many birthdays, hiding in the trunk of the car with the other kids at the 4th of July celebration because we were scared of the fireworks. There were no other relatives in Boise besides our two families so we did a lot together. I guess she’s my second cousin or something but she felt more like my aunt, or like a second mom. Glimpses race through my mind of her laughing, always laughing and laughing at or making slightly inappropriate jokes. My parents had a small singing group with them so they were at our house like at least once a week for singing practice and all of the kids would hide up in the game room, singing along with harmonies of the songs. Nobody had the flare when they sang a solo like Nancy did. Throughout my childhood she is a constant, a person who was often there. But I only got to know her and see her with a child’s eyes.

And maybe it’s odd but some of my memories of her consist of years since the accident. Being not only cousins but also best friends with Alyse gifted me with the chance to learn more about Nancy as Alyse would share with me personal insights from Nancy’s journals or from Alyse’s personal memories and such. I had the chance to get to know Nancy as I grew into a teenager and then into an adult.

And as the years go I find myself connecting with her in deep and personal ways. I know that we would have been good friends because of the things that I know of her, we are a lot alike! But also because Alyse is so much alike her, and Alyse and I have been so close through the years, and through her I feel close to Nancy. I have also gotten closer to Kirstin as adults and I love seeing Nancy in her as well.

I don’t know if I am even making any sense. I guess what I am trying to say is that the pain that comes from time being cut short has been punctuated with the sweet ways that she lives on. Her writings, her art, stories, her laugh that still echoes through my mind, her kids, and her spirit that truly never left. I am grateful I’ve been able to get to know her through these years.

Contributor: Bryant Perkins

Relationship: Son of Catherine Perkins

[Memory of Caleb]

I remember Caleb telling me about when Nancy and Keith were in the car accident and he got that scar. Also, every week I come to piano lessons and I love to play with Caleb.

Contributor: Catherine Perkins

Relationship to Nancy: Niece (and surrogate daughter. I figure if my parents can take her children under their wings here, then Nancy must have me under her wing up there. J)

The thing I remember most about Nancy was her infectious laugh. I remember distinctly praying the moment I found out about the accident pleading with Heavenly Father that I would always be able to remember it because I loved it so much. She laughed so readily and truly it lifted me up every time.

I also remember having so many conversations that I was amazed that she was listening to me- just a little kid- but she acted so sincerely interested. And I talked a lot- a LOT- so I was fairly used to people seeming a little bit like they were trying to find a breath to escape the conversation. Nancy was not like that. She listened so well, and really the better way to phrase it is that she conversed. I could tell she was interested because she was interested in me and she spoke back.

I love her so much- I can’t wait for my children and husband to know her and meet her and Keith.

Contributor: Clint Johnson

Relationship to Nancy: Son

Memory of my Mom

My mom was always so much fun. When I was really little I remember going up to my mom and saying I’m bored. She suggested that we play soccer. So we played soccer. She went very easy on me and always let me win. After that I would always go to her and ask her to play soccer because she was my best friend.

I remember another time I was trying to learn how to play Star Wars on the piano. I liked to just play it over and over. My mom kept telling me that I was playing it wrong but I didn’t care I wanted to just to play. Finally she said “you are not allowed to play that song anymore until you learn how to play it right.” So I learned and realized how much cooler it sounded.

Contributor: Marci Johnson

Relationship to Nancy: Niece of Nancy and sibling to her children

I don’t remember Nancy unfortunately. My one memory is when their family was driving from Idaho to Texas on their last move and they stopped by our house for the night. All the kids were playing in the backyard and all the adults sat in a circle in the front yard as they looked at the stars and talked. I remember running from the back to the front to talk to the adults and I think that Nancy was talking and laughing as I talked to them.

Besides that I am left with memories of her kids-mostly Andre. I always felt like I had a little insight into Nancy through Andre though. He looks like Keith, but I feel like his spirit is like Nancy. He is so much fun, so creative, and a super, duper deep thinker. I remember hours and hours of playing with Andre, laughing with him, and admiring his creativity. I think my favorite memory of Andre is when we were watching Napolean Dynamite, and at one part of the movie he was laughing so hard that he couldn’t close his mouth and he started drooling everywhere. I picture Nancy like that as a kid, even though I didn’t get the chance to spend some time with her.

Contributor: Rebecca Miller

Relationship to Nancy: Sister

I have many memories of Nancy but what I decided to write about is Nancy’s personality both as I remember and also in some emails she has written.

First are my memories:

She was always the life of the party, the center of attention, the person that everyone wanted to be with. She cared about everyone and everything. She had a wonderful way of turning every conversation away from herself and toward you.

She loved all of us in her family. She especially loved Keith. I am sure she was thrilled to have him join her in Heaven. She celebrated their anniversary in January as “lover’s day”. She was totally in love with that man and she showed it to everyone. She also loved her children. When she visited my house when Douglas was sick, she called home every day to talk to her children. Andre was only 4 at the time but they would talk for a long time…what do you talk to a 4 year old about for that long? She did it. It was going to be Kirsten’s birthday. We looked and looked for the perfect gift to give her. She finally decided on a marionette that she knew Kirsten would love. Who can forget the limo that she allowed Alyse and her friend to go in? She loved her children so much.

When Douglas was sick and in the hospital for several months, she came to visit and care for us. She brought Douglas 40’s hat because she knew he was bald and that he loved the 40’s style. She did hard things. When she visited we had a mouse that got caught in a trap in our garage. We were leaving so I said I would send the teenage boy over after our party. We had forgotten something; she went home to get it and also took care of the mouse. I asked her why she had done it. She said, “Because I made a goal to do one hard thing every day.”

She loved her parents and siblings. Here is something she wrote for a book I made about Mom:

I remember waking up every morning to a kitchen full of breakfast. Mom always cooked breakfast: eggs or hot cereal, toast, orange juice, cocoa. She didn't make everything every day, but even on cold cereal days she put everything out on the counter. It looked so inviting.

When I got older Mom told me she wasn't a morning person. That surprised me. I always loved mornings in the kitchen with Mom. I loved hearing her sing while she did her morning work. My favorite was "It's a lovely day today. And whatever you've got to do it's a lovely day for doing it, it's true." I also like "Why is the sky so blue today? Why is the robin's song so gay? Why is the da da da da da? Only because it's spring." And sometimes she whistled. One time Milo was staying at our house. At breakfast I pointed him to the cereal cupboard. He opened the door and said, "Wow, this is Mom's cupboard." I carried the same line of cereal as Mom: Cheerios, Post Toasties (never Kellogg's Corn Flakes!), Wheaties, Grape Nuts, Chex. I liked those warm mornings in the kitchen. Sometimes Mom would set me on the counter to put my shoes and socks on. Before she put my socks on she wrapped her hands around each foot and rubbed to warm them up. I never realized until thinking about it now how lucky I was to have a mom who loved to make extra‑strength cocoa for me in the morning.

I think Nancy is the best source to tell about herself. A few excerpts from letters follow:

Today Dad would have been 75 year old. Instead he’s one of the few people I know who lived his entire life in only one century. It’s not right to wallow in my grief, that’s not what life’s about, but every once in a while, on special days like today, I allow myself a few memories, some tears and a bit of longing to be with him again.

It’s moving day so I don’t really have anything else to do but type around my keyboard and stare at Jan become Marcia. Marcia turned into Jan and.... Actually I am enjoying my break sitting here where I can watch Keith’s muscle ripple under the weight of all those boxes I packed with rocks... What a hottie.. He’s so hot his shirt is soaking.

This is what she wrote after she told about when Caleb stopped breathing and only Alyse was there to help when they were moving into their home in McKinney.

I couldn't let my kids go to school the next day. Alyse insisted on going, she had exams, but the others were more than happy to stay home and help us unload the truck. I kept thinking about that scripture in the Book of Mormon when Jesus talks about how often he wanted to gather his children like a mother hen gathers her chicks. That's always been a poignant symbol of parenting to me. Anyway, that's how I felt, I wanted to gather my darlings around me and protect them from everything. But then there's always dishes to wash and messes to clean up and the mean mother in me sneaks to the surface again. I don't know how to shake loose of her, especially when I'm surrounded by chaos and two tons of work that I, and only I, can do.

She continues on to write about Clint and getting his depression medicine right

I forgot to mention a tiny bit of bright news; Yesterday Clint said to me, “Mom, I think this medicine might be working.”

“Really,” I said “You're not just saying that to make me feel better are you?”

Clint said, “No, I just had this feeling. I mean, for a second I felt really good. It was so nice and then it disappeared and I thought, 'Wait, come back, I want to feel like that some more.'”

Why does that make me think about heaven and about those tiny moments when we look at each other and recognize something incredible before it fades away from our perception?

You're each precious to me. Sorry for all the sentiment but my Yellow (fun-motivated) personality is sleeping in, you know how she hates Mondays, so the writing's all coming from me, my emotional Blue self. If Yellow were here she'd probably make some comment about how I'm a good timin' girl too being the emotional stripper that I am. So, I didn't expose more than you wanted to see.

~Nancy